New Years resolutions. I usually never make them. This year I did, though: I told myself, I’m going to get this arm to heal back to normal, and I am going to lose enough weight to feel safe in the saddle, because horses are the second best thing in my life, with my husband coming in at a first.
This morning I showered and washed my hair and for the first time, I could do so with both hands instead of sort of awkwardly trying to do everything with my left. Sure, my right arm felt like lead, but it moved as I wanted to. It’s back, bay-beh. That was the first goal, and it’s only January 9.
The second one is going to be… a little bit harder.
The thing that scares me the most about getting back into the saddle is the knowledge that my extra weight makes my reaction time longer, the strain on my muscles stronger, and gravity is not, totally and utterly not, on my side.
This one’s going to be really hard, and so is admitting to myself that I have a problem with comfort eating besides the very obvious problem of not being able to really walk or move around a lot. Being a chronic pain patient isn’t always just a matter of more pills; sometimes it makes you feel exhausted, sometimes it just hurts too much, and sometimes, it makes you outright depressed. The lack of ability to walk for more than twenty metres or stand up for more than a few minutes, they don’t help either.
I hear people say that you can do anything if you really want to. Well, I really want to shed some serious tonnage, so let’s do this.