Big horses and little girls

 

Few things put me in a better mood than watching little girls play with very big horses. Tiny human beings learning the power of asking gentle giants nicely instead of demanding and scolding. Watching reservations on both sides melt away and turn into mutual trust.

Any equine can do training with poles, obstacles, and new sensations. There’s no magic secret, just communicating. Exposing horses to new things help them learn to trust that we really do know best—so that when something unexpected happens, their response is to ask us what to do instead of bolting or panicking. This is a game humans and horses play together, where humans come up with challenges and obstacles, and horses show humans that pshaw, that’s nothing.

Training last Sunday turned out to be day of the cold-bloods. I present to you, in no particular order, haflinger Nando, Jutland draft Emilie, and fjord pony, Loke—the cold-blood allstars.

Nando is a big, playful boy who loves people and showing off. Always up for a kiss or an ear scratch, he’s pretty unflappable on the obstacle course.
Nando is a big, playful boy who loves people and showing off. Always up for a kiss or an ear scratch, he’s pretty unflappable on the obstacle course.
Emilie has never had to learn that humans can be scary, and consequently, few things humans do are scary. Balloons flapping on a string in the wind? So what?
Emilie has never had to learn that humans can be scary, and consequently, few things humans do are scary. Balloons flapping on a string in the wind? So what?
Loke, named for the Norse trickster god, lives up to his name. Clever and mischievous as, well, a fjord horse, he’ll do almost anything for his human playmate—as long as she asks nicely.
Loke, named for the Norse trickster god, lives up to his name. Clever and mischievous as, well, a fjord horse, he’ll do almost anything for his human playmate—as long as she asks nicely.
A horse depends on his legs for survival. Horses are picky about what they’ll step on, and big, noisy tarps are often a flat no. Nando required his human to show him but then it was fine. Mutual trust gets you everywhere.
A horse depends on his legs for survival. Horses are picky about what they’ll step on, and big, noisy tarps are often a flat no. Nando required his human to show him but then it was fine. Mutual trust gets you everywhere.
Force is never the answer, and nowhere is this more evident than when a tiny rider easily handles an 800 kilos draft horse. Emilie loves the small riders; they ask for little and reward her so much.
Force is never the answer, and nowhere is this more evident than when a tiny rider easily handles an 800 kilos draft horse. Emilie loves the small riders; they ask for little and reward her so much.
Training with poles and obstacles (the polka dotted object in the back is a plastic bowl full of plastic balls for the horses to try to step into) can be done from the ground or from the back. The horse may find it easiest from the ground at first (so he can watch you not being scared).
Training with poles and obstacles (the polka dotted object in the back is a plastic bowl full of plastic balls for the horses to try to step into) can be done from the ground or from the back. The horse may find it easiest from the ground at first (so he can watch you not being scared). Also, Nando tried to eat the plastic balls.
Emilie takes this sort of training a little further than many. She is completely voice controlled when working with someone on the ground, to a point where she flat out dismisses the riders’ signals in favour of those of the person on the ground. We deliberately trained her this way. With my handicap I may literally pass out in the saddle. If I act weird (or not at all) she will instantly walk up to the nearest human being to ask for instructions. A bonus effect is that insecure riders can feel completely safe with her, because all they need worry about is staying on—the guy on the ground has their back.
Emilie takes this sort of training a little further. She is completely voice controlled and ignores the riders’ signals in favour of the ground handler’s. We deliberately trained her this way. With my handicap I may literally pass out in the saddle. If I act weird (or not at all) she will walk up to the nearest human to ask for instructions. Insecure riders can feel completely safe with her, because all they need worry about is staying on—the guy on the ground handles the rest.
It doesn’t hurt that Emilie thinks playing with people is the best fun.
It doesn’t hurt that Emilie thinks playing with people is the best fun.
The coolest cat of the day, however, was Bella the barn cat. What's a warm midden for, if not sleeping in?
The coolest cat of the day, however, was Bella the barn cat. What’s a warm midden for, if not sleeping in?

Emilie has always had a thing for little girls. Remember this one from a few years back?

Horse talk

I have never met a horse who didn’t talk. Horses don’t always feel a particular need to communicate at a given moment, but they’re never silent. They always respond, even if it’s just to say, ‘leave me alone, please.’

Every flick of an ear, every sideways glance, every deep breath or turning of the head—it’s all communication. Most of us already know their language. We brush pony down and tell our barn buddy that pony seems extra chipper today. How do we know? She greeted us with ears high and eyes open but relaxed, presenting her nostrils to exchange scents, and investigating our pockets. Pony is in a good mood—energetic but not stressed out, and wants to do something that earns treats. She wants to work, and earn the reward for working.

Cassie says, “Fine, take that photo, but get it done already, so we can go out in the field.”

Or maybe pony seems sad. Eyes are half shut, jaw is tight, ears are in the stiff, half-back position that signifies discomfort or even pain. Pony mostly just stands there, drawn into himself, disinterested. We don’t need to be experts on equine anatomy to tell that pony isn’t happy—we just need to know him. He’s not usually like that. We probably should keep an eye on him.

Emilie says, “What’s that you’re waving in my face? Can I eat it?”

Equine talk

Horses are in constant communication with each other, but not necessarily with us. A horse doesn’t try hard to talk to us if he’s never experienced us actually listening or responding—and definitely not if we responded with telling him off for unwanted behaviour. Those who are accustomed to being heard talk to us, a lot. Even if they probably think we’re a little slow on the uptake. They are master listeners; they pay attention to excruciating detail. In comparison, humans don’t see half of what’s going on around us.

Horses want to communicate with us. From the foal curiously investigating our hands and trying to figure out what we’re for, to the senior horse politely asking for a back rub of sore old muscles. They don’t think like humans (duh!), they think like horses. Horses talk about horse things. Ask us about horse things. And when we listen, we train each other to get better at talking.

Macaya says, “Come ON, I don’t have all day, can we get OUT NOW?”

Every horse I have owned I have had to start with polite hellos, getting to know one another. Six months later, I’m having conversations—chats that feel as real to me as any chat I’d have with a human. The neighbour talks about his lawn and the hedge that needs trimmed; my writer friend talks about pages written and grammar rules; my horse talks about the weather, what she’d like to do today, and would I care for a mutual grooming session. We all talk about the things that matter to us.

Foxi says, “I’m not entirely thrilled about you waving that thing in my face, please keep your distance.”

Ask and answer

I think the most challenging part of talking with, rather than to, horses is learning to ask questions and let horses make the decisions. They’re really good at it; the herd survives because each horse constantly evaluates who is best at solving whatever problem we’re dealing with, and then following the lead of the horse who knows best. A horse won’t think less of you because you defer to his judgement. He won’t think less of you because you make him defer to yours. The horse or person most suited to solve a problem makes the call.

The herd constantly communicates. Who’s most knowledgeable about this situation? Whose turn is it to stand guard while the others sleep? Are we safe here? Where’s the best food?

I ask Emilie all the time to make decisions. I sit down on my chair, in the position for massaging her chest (which she loves) and ask her, do you want a grooming session? Sometimes she marches right up and starts grooming my back in return (which she is absolutely great at!). At other times she glances at me, turns her head away politely, and grabs some straw. Thank you, but not today. Do you want this brush? Yes, please. Do you want your butt washed today? Yes, please, it’s sweaty and itchy. Do you want me to comb your leg feathers? Naw, they’re good, and I’m feeling ticklish today.

Taking responsibility

Because of my physical handicap, I have been training Emilie from day one to be able to take the lead. In our relationship, we take turns being in charge. When we do the things I think are necessary—whether it’s waiting at the box door or (shudder!) the farrier, I’m in charge. I tell her what to do. When we’re in the paddock or the field, or anywhere else at liberty, she’s in charge. As a result, I have a horse whom a toddler can lead; but who can also take charge of a situation and boss humans around if necessary.

Nando says, “Whatever you’re doing with that camera isn’t my problem.”

Emilie brings me her ball for kicking. She takes me for a grazing walk where I support my weight against her shoulder and she matches her pace to mine so I don’t stumble. Evil chickens come too close? Emilie steps in front and protects me from perceived danger. I can’t currently ride her due to my own pain, but when we do—if something scary happens, she will evaluate the situation. If it’s too scary or stressful for Emilie to feel confident, she will walk up to my husband and command him to take charge, regardless of what I say.

That’s intentional. I have fainting spells. Emilie knows that if for some reason I become non-responsive on her back, appear distracted or give half-assed signals—walk up to the nearest adult and ask for assistance. Yeah. Horses are that smart. Mares know to protect foals. The herd looks after its own.

That’s the crux of it, really. Don’t be master and servant. Be partners. Meet on equal terms. Talk, and listen.

A lesson from the barn’s youngest residents: Never stop asking ‘what’s that?’

Breakfast in be—barn

Breakfast duty in the barn is fun! Nowhere else do you get greeted by such an eager, anticipative audience!

Cassie waits politely but don't let her looks fool you. She's a cunning little one, and she'll let you know if she thinks service is not up to standards.
Cassie waits politely but don’t let her looks fool you. She’s a cunning little one, and she’ll let you know if she thinks service is not up to standards.
Emilie doesn't mind where she eats her breakfast as long as she gets to eat it. Groom away.
Emilie doesn’t mind where she eats her breakfast as long as she gets to eat it. Groom away.
Foxi makes eyes at the breakfast cart like only a small pony can.
Foxi makes eyes at the breakfast cart like only a small pony can.
We didn't feed these guys. That's Blacky's job. But we did feed Blacky, so that surely counts.
We didn’t feed these guys. That’s Blacky’s job. But we did feed Blacky, so that surely counts.
Nando would like to request speedier service, thank you very much.
Nando would like to request speedier service, thank you very much.
Olivia seems convinced that she who maketh the funniest face getteth her breakfast first.
Olivia seems convinced that she who maketh the funniest face getteth her breakfast first.
A contest which, incidentally, Tush is willing to join.
A contest which, incidentally, Tush is willing to join.