Ten Funny Poneh Pix

Two weeks with a broken arm and I am going nuts with boredom and looking through my digital archives for entertainment. Now proudly presenting ten funny horse pictures that have somehow ended up on my hard drive.

1: Is My Horse OK?

Dina Hjort sent me this one after I broke my arm in the fall. She ain’t all wrong, I think I was more worried about Pilar than about myself.

2: Reality check

You’ve seen this one before but it doesn’t get more true than this. Every horse owner knows this.

Reality Check.

3: Bitch, I’m fabulous!

It’s a Friesian with flowing mane and tail doing a leap. I ain’t arguing.

fabulous-horse-is-fabulous_c_4147581

4: For Fast Riders…

This one makes the round on the net every month. I still laugh every time.

for slow riders

5: Halloween

Yes, yes. It was just Halloween and besides, we don’t even officially celebrate this holiday in Denmark (though commercial interests are working hard to change that). I just love that horse’s face.

halloween

6: Bordering on cruelty

A friend sent me this one. I made him swear not to tell Pilar about it. She loves to dress up for attention and get, well, attention and a metric buttload of treats. She will want one of these in pink and she will never let me take it off.

yUoujpb

7: Yikes!

The caption reads: “This is an extremely cheap way to castrate a stallion…” to which the lady replies, “You could probably switch the carrot for a beer and the stallion with…”

wm_2015-11-10_981022z

8: Argh.

Everyone who ever took care of a grey or other light coloured horse knows this one. Too well.

it was nice of you

9: Yeah, I noticed…

I sort of felt like that when I went flying. Only, you know, this sign is somewhere in the US and not on our paddock. But if it had been, I woulda. Yes.

if you can read this

10: Has Talent…

Nobody’s perfect.

has talent needs direction

Credit where credit is due: If you are the owner of one of the used images, please contact me for proper credits.

Doing Juuust Fine…

directions

Alvin managed to snap a pretty great still of Louise and Pilar tonight! They were practising cordeo riding for the first time — Pilar’s not accustomed to being ridden bareback and certainly not without head tack. However, barring this little incident, it went absolutely fantastic.

Counting the days until I get the sling off my arm which, by the by, resembles the Swedish flag. The novelty of one-handedness is wearing off pretty fast, but it is absolutely awesome to have so many people willing to help out with the poneh.

Not Everyone is a Critic

Not everyone is a critic.

Today, Equitandi will be removing her controversial video clip in which she comments (loudly and hilariously) on Tina Lund’s statement that it’s okay to use sharper bits because if the horse didn’t like it, it wouldn’t win.

I can’t say I blame her. I read a fair number of the comments on her video, and while many of us agree with her, the amount of anger that the clip caused in Tina Lund’s supporters is… staggering. Rabid. Foaming at the mouth levels of crazy in some cases. Equitandi uses facebook as a free space for herself, and does not want to be the target of such sound and fury so she’s taking the clip back down and telling people to move on.

I just wish that people would take a breather sometimes, count to ten, and agree that few things are black and white before they start penning threats and abuse. Come on, whether you think Tina Lund’s riding is okay or not, you have to admit that saying that horses win because they like pain is bloody stupid. Maybe it didn’t come out quite as Tina intended. Maybe she is just stupid. I don’t know, and I don’t care much, either.

Criticizing a highly controversial statement such as that one does not constitute an attack on everything Tina Lund is or has been, and it does not warrant a barrage of hatred and abuse in return. It means she said something stupid. We laugh, and then we move on.

Thank you, Grumpy Cat, for coming to the rescue of my sanity.

How Many Horse People Does It Take to Change a Light Bulb?

WESTERN PLEASURE RIDER:
Oh, my God, someone fix that bulb.  I have to have light so that my silver and spangles all glow to their best and so that all the highlighter on Old Peanut Head makes his nose look so smooth and sparkly, and oh my diamonds studs have to flash in the light, you know, so oh, someone has to fix it.  Oh, maybe you without all the silver on your saddle, obviously can’t ride, you can do it.
ENDURANCE RIDER:
Light bulb?  Do you mind, I’m trying to get my horse’s pulse/respiration/hydration levels down to respectable levels.  Once that is done, I have another 50 miles to go before I can even think about changing a light bulb.
DRESSAGE QUEEN:
Change a light bulb?  Are you joking?  I couldn’t possible be expected to subject myself to such a menial task.  Change it yourself.  Oh, and wash you hands when you are finished.  The very thought!
CLASSICAL DRESSAGE QUEEN:
These things cannot be rushed, but must be approached slowly, with great patience, and adherence to the principles laid down by the classical masters, otherwise the light bulb will  not attain its true potential, but will forever just be a shadow of its true self.  Never, ever, use any type of gadget when changing the light bulb.  That is an offense to the principles of classical light bulb changing.
EVENTERS:
Wuss!  As soon as my arm is out of this sling broken after falling off at that large stone wall while riding Hell Bent for Leather cross-country, I’ll change it.  Until then, deal with the dark.  It’ll put hair on your chest.  Only dressage riders require lights, anyway!
SHOW JUMPERS:
Why on Earth would I need to change a light bulb when the whole world knows that the sun shines out of my butt.  Why, when I release over a jump, the spectators are practically blinded.
NATURAL HORSEMAN:
You must instill respect in the light bulb, so that it sees you as the Alpha light bulb, using “light bulb dynamics’ (video set available at $179.00 on my website).  Once you have done this, you will find that there is really no need to change the light bulb at all, but that the light bulb will, with very little coaxing from you (using patented “light bulb coaxer”) designed by me–$99.00 each, (for extra $49.99 you get an introductory video thrown in) will behave as all good light bulbs should.
HUNTER RIDER:
Well, I’m waiting for my trainer to tell me exactly how but he’s changing light bulbs somewhere else right now.
BACKYARD HORSEMAN:
Do I have to do everything??!!  Oh, yeah, I do, don’t I?  I’ll get to it as soon as I’m done mucking stalls, cleaning and filling the tub, cleaning and filling the water buckets, stacking my hay, setting up for night feeding, cleaning my tack, picking out manure from the paddock, brushing and exercising horses, and whatever else needs to be done.

 

Playing with Cleverbot

For those who aren’t familiar with it, Cleverbot is an artificial intelligence simulator that pretends to have a chat conversation with you. It’s got a strange sense of humour.

User: Have you seen my horse?

Cleverbot: I do not like horses.

User: But horses are adorable, gentle creatures!

Cleverbot: And dump.

User: Dumb. You mean dumb.

Cleverbot: You’re really dumb.

User: My horse is a beautiful black Friesian and you’re just jealous.

Cleverbot: My face is beautiful, and you are just jealous.

User: Your face isn’t Friesian.

Cleverbot: *gasps* my face isn’t stupid.

User: You’re not gentle either.

Cleverbot: I am nice to you. You’re my friend.

User: You have some very strange ideas about how to show your friendship.

Cleverbot: You are the one who has strange opinions.

User: Such as black horses being beautiful?

Cleverbot: Yes big black horses like black arabians?

User: Yeah, sure. Although I prefer Friesians.

Ain’t That The Truth

Reality Check.
Reality Check.

I think most of us poneh people can relate to this one. Ordering new head tack for Pilar this month, a new and exciting thing from academical dressage. She’s tried one on and was very happy about it.

Anyone else have experiences with Bent Branderup’s cavemores, don’t hesitate to let me know — preferably before I hand over the money in case your experience was less than great.

Fifty Shades of Neigh

Logan loved kissing. Big, slobbery, wet kisses.
Logan loved kissing. Big, slobbery, wet kisses.

This one’s just for the laughs. Logan loved sucking on his people. He gave big slobbery, wet kisses, and he gave tongue baths like a cat mum to her kittens. I always returned from the barn with my coat soaked and chewed on. And yet, I was never worried that those big teeth might get too close to my nose. He was a careful, gentle old boy.